The Underachieving Asian.

I wanted to eat Cheetos after dinner but my mom wouldn’t let me have Cheetos because I’m all fat and everything but I’m like whatever ain’t nobody gonna keep me from my Cheetos cuz nothing burns brighter than the fire of forbidden love.

It always surprises me, how much I talk.

Ever since I started University, things have been so crazy! Pre-med is no joke T.T There’s so much to read, so many assignments to hand in on time, so much stuff to read, and SO MUCH STUFF TO READ. I don’t think I’m stressing it enough. My mom always told me (before I started college of course) that Biology would be a great course for me because I love to read. And I do. I read a lot. Of fiction.

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m happy I chose this course.Okay, maybe I’m not super stoked on what’s to come up next BUT biology was my favorite subject back in high school and I still love it but it’s shown its true colors so I don’t think it’s ready to love me back. Also, I’m taking up Botany classes. People may think that plants are boring because they’re immobile and shit but THERE IS MORE TO PLANTS THAN MEETS THE EYE. A lot of things are happening within all of those trees and flowers and plants and everything. Also, whenever I see a bouquet of flowers or a tree or any kind of plant in general, all I can think about is their inflorescence or if they’re monocots or dicots. And I’m only a freshman so my knowledge is still limited. What more when I move on to higher studies??? 

In other news, my blockmates are amazing people. I mean of course there’re already some of us who don’t like some of the people within the block but they’re all nice to me and if any of them does have a problem with me, they don’t let me know so I pretty much like everyone. I have moved from having only made one friend on the first week of school to being close to most of the girls on my block and some of the guys as well. Although I’m still a bit awkward when it comes to talking to some of them but then again, I’m awkward around the opposite sex in general aside from the ones I’m close to. It’s ironic to think that most of my closest friends from Brunei are guys but until now, I still find it hard to approach them, attracted or otherwise. Of course, I am attracted to guys from my block, I can’t really avoid that although no crushes of mine here have really been serious. They’re cute and attractive and I like looking at them, end of story.

In terms of romantic feelings, I’m actually still getting over the first boy I’ve ever fallen in love with, which kinda suck cause you know…. I actually fell IN LOVE with the guy. And it was tough for me to finally admit it to myself cause let’s face it: in a few months, I’ll be 18. I’m past the stage where normal people find their first loves in their early teen years but then again, I don’t really think I’m normal. Whatevs. Bottom line is, I fell in love with a guy from Brunei (who happened to be my best friend FYI), I didn’t tell him how I felt before I left because I didn’t want to risk our friendship and now, I’m pretty much swimming in a pool of regret cause now I’m one of those people who’re always like “What if?” But you know what, I’ve come to accept the fact that friends is all we’ll ever be and the distance has really helped a lot and along with the fact that I have so much on my plate, I think I’ve subconsciously put love in a drawer in my brain and labelled it “DO NOT OPEN FOR NOW, BE A DOCTOR FIRST”. I mean, I’ve always treated love just like how I’ve always treated it since high school; if it comes, it comes but if it doesn’t, it doesn’t . I’m not really looking for it and I know that the time will come. Right now, I’m at the stage of moving on. Does he still pop up in my head every once in a while? Yes. Do I still have some unresolved residual feelings for him? Yes. Am I completely over him? Of course not, I just said I was still in the stage of moving on. I think I’ll be able to tell him about what I once felt for him someday and we’ll just laugh about it, I guess. Although you gotta admit, it’s kinda sad that my first love didn’t work out the way I’ve always hoped it would be but hey, we all have our disappointments.

And since I’ve read the books and am I HUGE fan of the books,I had certain expectations for the movie.

First of all, I understand that one can only squeeze so much of an incredible book into two and a half hours. There were quite a lot of bits and pieces that I would have LOVED to see in the movie, like Haymitch falling off the stage at the reaping,or the importance of Madge in the series. Also, I imagined it to be more violent than it was in the movie, although since a lot of kids were expected to watch as well I could see why. I also wanted to see District 11 send that bread to Katniss. There were a lot less Peeniss makeout sessions than I thought were gonna be and they only spent like a REALLY short time in that cave. I would’ve loved to see Katniss telling Peeta about the time she brought Lady home for Prim. And in the end of the movie, it was shown that Peeta knew that Katniss was just playing along with the star-crossed lovers thing which kinda disappointed me. I preferred the ending where Peeta was hurt on finding out that Katniss had not acted out on her feelings for him.

Another thing was that I was unimpressed by the costumes Cinna made. At the tribute parade, I thought the fire costumes would be more… fiery. It didn’t really give me goosebumps. And also, I wanted to see that bit where Cinna told Katniss and Peeta to hold hands but it was cut too :(. The interview dress, didn’t get me going either. I thought there would be more fire than just the bottom as well. I would have also liked to see the rooftop scene and there were only three mutts instead of twenty-one. Oh, and Lavinia the Avox girl. She was cut from the movie too :(. And why does Peeta still have TWO LEGS???

So all in all, the movie was still a pretty great watch. The main story line was still preserved and they made the movie look shaky and grainy, which,to me, was a nice effect, not because it made the movie look like a low-budget film, but because you could really feel the poorness in the Districts. Well, to me at least. The sequence of events weren’t changed either, which is something I’m very thankful for because a lot of books-turned-films have scenes that didn’t follow the chronological order as they were arranged in the book. The most important scenes were in the movie too and I understand that it’s a difficult job to congest various scenes from the book into a blockbuster movie. In fact, if I hadn’t read the books, I’d say that The Hunger Games is a totally complete kickass movie. Then I’d go out and read the books.

So if anyone reading this hasn’t read the book yet, I suggest that you read it. Because the book is always better than the movie.

Can’t wait for Catching Fire!!!

Hi.You probably don’t remember me but we used to be classmates back in prep. In San Beda. I was that girl who used to bring her lunch box full of ants to our table (but it was always totally by accident,I would have never brought ants there purposely) and you kinda treated me really badly for it. I’m not exaggerating. I clearly remember this one time when you took my lunchbox and my chair and made me sit on the floor,using my chair as my table so I could eat my recess snack. And it was in the middle of the classroom. Anyways,I just wanted to tell you that even though I’m way over those incidents, you still made my first year at that school a living nightmare. Five year-old me would cry A LOT. You made me want to be home-schooled. And as much as I hate to admit this, I’m still traumatized when I see ants. You see, I never got to tell you about this because I was too wimpy and I was five…what did I know? I guess there really is no reason as to why I’m sending you this message. It’s not like I’m demanding an apology or anything because it’s long overdue. Maybe it’s because I never got to tell you how miserable you made me. But whatever,it’s all in the past. Just thought you should know that you kinda scarred me, dude. Have a nice day.

Think it’s enough? Or should I just forget about it? I’m still kinda scarred. :/ Help?

By the way, ants just liked crawling into my lunch box. SO IT WAS NOT MY FAULT.

And not in the girl-who-has-a-massive-crush-on-you way. More along the lines of a I-actually-like-talking-to-you-and-I-kinda-miss-that way. Stupidhead.

Since you didn’t really get to show up this Valentine’s day (or the last one… or the many Valentine’s Days before that), I’ve been spending most of today thinking about the things we’d do next Valentine’s Day.

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